When you hear the word discipline or routine, what's the first thing that comes up for you?

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Most people recoil when they hear those words. It makes them think of things that require us to be strict, monotonous, and devoid of fun. And even though these are the words and feelings that are elicited, we crave routine and discipline in our lives because they make us feel happy and grounded.

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Part of the reason for the intense reaction is that people use the idea of discipline and routine as a tool to make themselves feel bad. How many times do you hear people talk about falling out of their routine, or getting off track? When they bring it up they talk about feeling guilty, or unworthy and what they "should" be doing but aren't. They feel bad about themselves, want to do better, and feel a huge amount of guilt and shame around the issue.

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But what if we could stop should-ing all over ourselves and learn how to see discipline and routine as tools to help us have the life we want?

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Discipline and routine are not new concepts for me. I began swimming competitively when I was 6 years old. By the time I was 10 I was swimming in the morning, before school, and again after school. This forced me to be really disciplined. My routines were everything! I didn't have time to screw around or things wouldn't get done.

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This is also probably why I was naturally drawn to Ashtanga yoga. It requires discipline, and to fully feel the effects it becomes part of your routine for your physical, mental, and spiritual health. While it can be extremely challenging, my body and mind crave it.

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I find great comfort in being disciplined and having a routine. It doesn't make me feel like my life is boring or monotonous. On the contrary, it helps me have more freedom in my life. My days start with intention and clarity which helps me be healthy, strong, grounded, and focused. This gives me the ability to do what I want and live my life in a fulfilling way.

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When we look at discipline and routine through the lens of all or nothing it has the opposite effect. Perfectionism is unattainable and so we create resistance towards the things that we know will make us feel good. This is often where guilt and shame come into play. We begin to judge ourselves and create stories about ourselves and our worth that aren't true.

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Discipline and routine need to allow for flexibility and pivots. Being able to adapt our routines and discipline to our life is possible. It comes down to our choices. We can choose to forgo perfection and instead see that even a little bit of discipline and routine can help keep us grounded and moving forward.

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Heraclitus says, "Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do, is who you become."

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We can't change the past, so let that shit go. Instead, decide what you want to do and take the steps to become the person you want to be. Flexibility around discipline and routine will help you flow with whatever is happening instead of trying to stick to an unrealistic ideal. This is how you get unstuck so you can live the life you want. You learn to look at your changing circumstances with optimism and creativity rather than with fear and frustration.

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I'd love to hear your thoughts! Do you find discipline and routine boring or monotonous or do you feel like it helps you to have more freedom? Do you strive for perfection with discipline and routine or do you know how to adapt and morph as life does? What is working for you right now? What isn't?