Can you believe the first half of 2023 has officially come to an end?!? That means we've got 6 more months to make things happen!

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A lot of times, when people realize 6 months of the year have passed, they start thinking about all the things they haven't done but feel like they should do. Coincidentally, over the last few weeks, the word I consistently hear coming from my client's mouths is should. Either they think they should be doing x, y, and z, or someone told them they should be doing x, y, and z.

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Everyone is should-ing all over themselves!

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If we look up the definition of the word should, it is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness. These are not the words I want my clients to use when they talk about their habits.

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Habits are hard enough. We don't need to make them harder by feeling obligated to do them. Feeling obligated to do something means you probably aren't going to be very excited about it. Let's face it, if you don't enjoy what you are doing, you're not going to do it.

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When we tell ourselves we should be doing something it means it's not our goal we are talking about, it's someone else's. It may be a great goal we would like to have, but if there is no intrinsic motivation, we won't know how to tackle it.

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This is where overwhelm starts to creep in. We get lost in all the things we should be doing, we should be eating better, drinking more water, moving our bodies, making time for self-care, and the list goes on and on. The thought processes get so overwhelming because we are trying to tackle too much.

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We end up in analysis paralysis, we spend a lot of time thinking about what we should be doing but we never actually do anything.

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So what do we do when we find ourselves in this position? Take action!

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I know! It sounds so easy, but it's not. We can get stuck in this state of overwhelm for long periods. We feel like since we are thinking about it we are doing something. But we're just getting lost deeper and deeper in the shoulds and staying stuck where we are.

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And then there's the guilt. We start to feel bad about ourselves. We think, why can't I just do this thing? What's wrong with me?

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There is nothing wrong with you! You aren't motivated by someone else's goals.

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When I was first starting on my wellness journey I had a doctor tell me not to eat anything that came out of a package. That sounds simple enough unless you are riddled with an autoimmune disease that is wiping every ounce of energy of your system, working two jobs, raising a toddler, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and doing all the other things.

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I was already cooking all of our meals from scratch. I kept telling myself, I should be able to make everything from scratch. I wanted to make everything from scratch. But I was stretched too thin and just thinking about doing more made me feel more exhausted and overwhelmed.

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I started to feel guilty that I couldn't do what it took to take care of myself and my family. It just reinforced all the ways I already didn't feel like I was good enough.

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This doctor, while good-intentioned, had no idea what my life looked like. And without that information, it was unkind of her to suggest something like that to me. I was already maxed out. I needed to simplify my life not add more to it.

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What would have been more helpful is if she had asked me to commit to something smaller, like trying to make my trail mix instead of buying it prepackaged. That one small thing might have felt doable for me at the time and would have built my confidence to tackle more and more things.

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This is how I approach my habits. I start with one small thing and when I have gotten consistent and feel like I can do more, I add in more. I keep it simple.

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You know yourself better than anyone else. You know what you like and what you will and won't do. Just because something works for someone else does not mean it will work for you. And that's ok. We are all unique and we need to capitalize on that uniqueness when it comes to habit creation.

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When one of my clients tells me something they feel like they should do, the first question I ask is, do you enjoy doing that? The answer, as you might be able to guess is often no.

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As I mentioned earlier, if you don't like something, you won't do it. Shoulds are not sustainable.

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If you are stuck in analysis paralysis and want to get out of it then ask yourself the same question I ask my clients, would you enjoy doing whatever you think you should be doing? If the answer is no, then your next question is, what you would enjoy doing?

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This is where you start. Figure out what you would do and start with that. Make sure it is so small you can do it even on your worst day. Small is where all good habits start. As you build consistency, your habits can and will grow.

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The only way out of analysis paralysis and overwhelm is to get into action. You have all the answers you need inside yourself. The success you create will help to build your confidence and make you unstoppable!