Do you prioritize yourself? What do you think when you hear someone say that?

I can remember the first time I heard it. Parker was probably 2 years old, I was working 3 jobs, feeling like I was being pulled in a million directions. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and totally stressed out. The funny thing is if you had asked me if I was stressed I don’t know if I would have said yes. Stress had become so commonplace for me that I didn’t notice it.

My body couldn’t keep up with the chronic stress that it was under. It gave me plenty of signs, which I chose to ignore before I got sick. When I finally went to the doctor, she told me that I had to prioritize myself if I wanted to get better. 

She asked me to devote 30 minutes a day to things that brought me joy. I thought she was crazy. My days were packed full, there wasn’t room for anything else, especially if it was for me. 

That thinking was exactly what was exacerbating my situation. I was constantly giving to everyone else, except me. 

I was depleting my energy every day and not allowing myself to refuel. No wonder I was so stressed out! I was running on fumes. 

While I didn’t take the advice of the first doctor, autoimmune disease is not very forgiving. I kept feeling worse and worse until I knew I couldn’t live this way anymore. I was going to have to learn how to prioritize myself.

You would have thought someone asked me to gouge one of my eyeballs out.😂 I had no idea where to start or how to do it. I felt selfish and guilty for taking time alone to do what I wanted. 

I started paying attention to everything that I said yes to but really wanted to say no. I also paid attention to all the times I told myself no about when I really wanted to say yes. 

I decided each day I would say yes to one thing I wanted to do. It started with really small things and grew from there. That could be anything from buying myself a cup of coffee, picking the movie or tv show I want to watch, sitting down to read a book, or taking a bath. It didn’t matter how much time it took, just that I said yes to myself. 

Saying no to things I didn’t want to do may have been even harder to tackle than saying yes to myself. Once again I started with really small things and let them grow naturally. Every time I said no to someone or something else it opened up an opportunity for me to say yes to myself. Without even realizing it, I had started habit stacking, or layering a new habit on top of an existing one.

The change has been slow going and is still a work in progress. If I don’t pay attention I can quickly find myself overcommitted and heading towards overwhelm, exhaustion, and stress. But now I know how to get myself on track so I can feel better fast. 

The biggest shift was probably my mindset. I no longer think I’m lazy or selfish if I sit around and do nothing. Sometimes that’s exactly what I need! Rest!

I realized I am important and so are my wants and needs. I thought to be of service to others I had to sacrifice and suffer. But I don’t. I never did. And neither do you.

For me to be able to give to everyone else, I have to fill my cup first. I am a better wife, parent, friend, sister, teacher, and coach when I am not constantly drained and running on fumes. 

If this sounds all too familiar to you, figure out where you can start saying yes to yourself. 30 minutes a day might seem like too much right now, but if you start finding small ways to say yes to yourself, it will start to compound over time.

Are you totally lost when it comes to next steps? Book a discovery call with me and let’s chat!