Kathy Koher Wellness

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Make Friends With Your Fear

Fear is an emotion that we are confronted with on a daily basis. It can control our lives if we allow it. How we approach our fear can either help us to grow and change or keep us stuck where we are. 


When I was younger I was very shy and had no confidence in myself at all. Fear controlled my life; I was afraid to get called on in class, to say something wrong, to try new things, to meet new people. You name it, I was probably scared of it. This carried on into my adult life, though not to the same extent. 


When 2020 hit and we were confronted with the pandemic, my life came into better focus. The things that were truly important to me became really clear. I saw the ways I wanted my life to change so that I had the time to focus on what was most important and let all the other junk fall away. 


Fear suddenly had no place in my life anymore. I saw how often fear held me back from being the person I not only wanted to be but knew I could be. By not putting myself out there I was not only hurting myself but I was also hurting the people I was meant to help and serve. 


My new mantra for 2020 was to begin to say yes to all the things that fear told me to say no to. As soon as I decided this the universe gave me my first opportunity to change my ways; I was offered an opportunity to teach pranayama (deep breathing exercises) in a corporate environment.  


When I was asked, my brain immediately said, “NO WAY!” The thought of speaking in front of a group of people made me sick to my stomach. I used the techniques I learned in my mindfulness meditation practice to sit with the fear. I closed my eyes and  focused on where I felt the fear in my body, I allowed it to be, breathed into it and it slowly started to dissipate. I opened my eyes and immediately said YES!

Each new situation has given me the opportunity to grow and realize that fear does not have to control me. I get to choose. I choose to befriend my fear and create a new relationship with it.  It is rarely easy but it is always worth it!


So what do you choose? Is fear a factor in your life? Are you choosing to play small and stay small or are you ready to put yourself out there and grow? Remember, the gifts you receive from saying yes far outweigh the regret you get from saying no.