Learning how to wait
So this week we're talking about that thing we all want a little more of, it wears thin quickly, and once you have it you can easily lose it. If you guessed patience, you are correct.
I consider myself a fairly patient person. But then life throws something at me which tests me and makes me realize I can always cultivate more of it.
Two weeks ago my car broke down. Again. Since I purchased my car in 2018 it has been in and out of the shop more times than I can count. Sometimes it's a quick fix and sometimes it's there for weeks at a time. My mechanic, Mac, has currently had my car for two weeks and isn't sure when he will be able to fix the problem. It's the same problem as last year when he had to keep my car for a little over a month. In all honesty, the frustration is starting to build.
Luckily, when it's been there for weeks at a time, including currently, I have been fortunate enough to have family who let me borrow a car for days or weeks at a time. I honestly don't know what I would do otherwise because my job, Dave's job, and all of Parker's after-school activities are on the other side of town. There is absolutely no way that we could function with one car with everyone needing to be in the same place at the same time.
You may be wondering why I haven't gotten rid of this lemon of a car. It's a question I am currently asking myself as well. But to put your mind at ease, I will be selling this car as soon as it is out of the shop.
I know the logical thing to do is to wait until the car is fixed, sell it, and then use the proceeds as a down payment on a new car. This is clearly the patient and rational side of me talking. But then there is the side of me that is like, f*@k this car, I'm just going to pick it up, sell it, get nothing for it, and buy a new car that will be reliable. This is the impatient and irrational side of me. 😂
I have been beyond patient with this car, especially considering all the days I have lost sitting at a mechanic shop waiting hours for my car. But everyone has their boiling point and I am at mine.
As I was contemplating selling my broken and irritating car, I came across this quote by Elizabeth Taylor, "It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting."
A wave of emotion came over me. It reminded me how impatient I was being and that life is always trying to teach us lessons so we can continue to grow. I realized how fortunate I am to have a car. the means to repair it, a family who can lend me a car, and the ability to buy a new one when the time is right. I felt the impatience melt away as the reality of my situation became crystal clear.
All I have to do is wait. Patiently. I can't control what is going on with my car but I can control how I react to it. I can also recognize the gifts that I have instead of focusing on the negative in the situation. I believe that comes with age, the ability to wait, to see with clarity how things really are instead of losing yourself in your emotions and making decisions from that space.
Patience is a skill we can all develop. It requires us to be able to pause when we are getting lost in our emotions. It asks us to wait, something we all have to do at various times in our lives, in traffic, at the doctor's office, in line at the store, and all the other places. What do we want to cultivate in those moments of waiting, more peace or more suffering?
I could very easily get lost in being impatient, complaining, and making rash decisions. I had my moments of doing that and things could have gone in that direction. But the person who gets affected by this the most would be me. I would only be creating more suffering for myself and I would miss the gifts and support that are being provided for me. Being able to pause, notice, and then choose keeps me from getting lost in emotion and the suffering it can create. There is enough suffering in this world and our lives. Why not make things a little easier and cultivate a little patience?
The choice is always yours.