Letting go of rigidity
The past couple of weeks have been super busy. Summer is over 😩, school's back in session, and life, in general, has sped up. I'm over here pivoting and trying to find my new rhythm.
I've had lots of appointments and meetings which has thrown off the flow of my days. Because I run my own business, I set work blocks daily to keep me on track. It's an essential part of my daily routine that guarantees I will have time for myself, my business, and my family and friends. Clear boundaries around my time help me be successful and happy.
The work blocks have been blown out of the water lately, as I've been getting home around 1 or 2 pm after leaving the house at 5:30 am. It's all stuff that I have to or need to get done, but it leaves very little time for work before school pick up and after-school activities, dinner, etc.
Fridays are my day to put my nose to the grindstone and get a lot of things done. After I take P to school, I come home, do my yoga practice, and buckle down for a busy workday. P usually goes off with friends after school giving me a few extra hours to work with.
Friday, Dave was off from work. He asked if we could go to lunch. Even though I had a lot of work to catch up on, something inside me told me to set that all aside and play hooky with him.
We used to do day dates all the time, but over the last few years, his work schedule has not accommodated them. We both excitedly carved out part of the day to spend together.
We went to lunch, walked around checking out the shops in the area, and finished our day date with an espresso and dessert. It was a perfect afternoon!
One of the benefits of having structure and routine in my day is the ability to pivot when I need or want to. We create the routine so that we can step away without falling off track or feeling guilty.
That may have been the best part, there was not one moment where I felt guilty or even thought about the work I wasn't doing. I stepped away from it all and enjoyed every minute of it.
Our routines and habits are there to support our lives and help us thrive. They give us the ability to see when we need something different and allow us to be flexible so we can appreciate life and all the little moments that make it so enjoyable.
I've been working since I was 13 years old. I have always worked hard whether that was for myself or someone else. I've even gone so far as to put work before my own needs. I'm that person that always shows up.
Most of the time, it's a great trait, but it's also something that, left unchecked, can be harmful.
10 years ago, I may have taken the day off to have a day date with Dave but I would have been thinking about work the whole time. My mind would have been distracted and I would have missed that time to connect with him.
The people pleaser in me thought I had to show up no matter what. This often meant ignoring my own needs or feeling guilty if I took time away from work. It created rigidity in my life. I had a schedule that I needed to stick to no matter what and if I didn't I wasn't working hard enough.
As you can probably guess, this did not serve me well. I was overextended and overwhelmed which created an extraordinary amount of unnecessary stress. And then there was the guilt....which only left me feeling more stressed.
Being rigid and ignoring our needs is not the way.
Listening to your intuition and knowing how to be flexible with your routines is what gives you the skills to create habits that last because they are sustainable.
The habits and routines you create demand constant self-awareness and introspection. They ask you to see yourself as you are so you can continue to grow and change to become a healthier version of yourself.
Sometimes the routines and habits that once worked for us no longer do. Sometimes they never did.
This is where the real growth comes in; when you can take what you've been doing, sometimes for your whole life, see that it's not working, and pivot to something that does.
Day dates used to make me feel guilty and like I was a slacker, but these days my mindset and habits have shifted and I can see when a break is the most productive thing I can do for myself. After all, when you look back on your life, it won't be the work you remember but the small, special moments with the people you love.