Reframing to Help Cope with Stress
Easter Sunday in my family means a big family gathering. I have two brothers and a sister and they each have four children. In years past, we all get together so the kids can play, the adults can catch up, and we all get to eat a meal together. This year, Easter Sunday was brought to us via FaceTime with the grandparents. Not the usual Easter gathering, but it was wonderful to be able to see everyone and catch up.
We talked about how things were going and what we were doing to pass time as we shelter at home. When I thought back over the last four weeks, several things hit me. First off, it is amazing to me that four weeks have already gone by. I read a meme the other day that said, “today was the longest week of my life.” While it amazes me that four weeks have passed, the days themselves have often gone by quite slowly. I teach yoga via zoom in the morning and also in the evening. By the time the evening class rolls around I feel like a whole other day has passed.
The second thing that hit me was that when I look back on these last four weeks, I have mostly good memories. Our days were typically very scheduled in my household. Between work, school, and after school activities we didn’t have time left for much else. I am still working from home and Parker is homeschooling. However, we are no longer constantly off to the next thing, nor do we want to be. We have had a chance to slow down and breathe. We spend more time doing things we want to do and less time doing things we have to do. We usually do all of our outside activities on the weekend because there just isn’t enough time during the week. Now, we are able to do outside activities every day. We go for walks, bike ride, play soccer, jump on the trampoline, play tennis (even though it’s in an empty parking lot), play ping pong, have picnics, and make fires. We have had long talks about life and what we all want to see happen when this is over.
Don’t get me wrong, we have had some tough days. There has been loneliness, grumpiness, anger, fear, anxiety, and just good old fashioned boredom. The interesting things is those same feelings would show up even when we weren’t in quarantine. The difference now is we actually have a chance to process those feelings instead of brushing them aside and running off to the next thing. We are learning how to be with ourselves and each other on a deeper level.
This is a challenging time. What I keep reminding myself is that I don’t have to make it harder. I can choose how I want my day to go. I can focus on what I do have and what is good instead of what I don’t have and what is not good. It is all about your perspective. You can reframe what you are thinking and how you are thinking about it. You can find small things to be grateful for and acceptance for what is. This is training for your brain. The more often you do this the more you are wired to continue to do it. You can literally rewire you brain so that you are happier. Like everything worth doing, this won’t happen overnight but it can happen. What are you waiting for?