There are 23 days left in 2022 - what do you want them to look like?

We have 23 days left in 2022! Can you believe it? This time of year can get really crazy for a lot of us. We already have packed schedules and then we add on family gatherings, work parties, school commitments, no school, shopping, increased traffic, and so much more, all while being merry and bright. 😳😂

So many of these things bring us joy, but when you add them to the 12 billion other things you are already trying to get done every day they can feel like one more thing on an already packed to-do list. It's the straw that broke the camel's back kind of scenario and your stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm go into overdrive.

Our to-do lists don't just get longer, they never seem to end. Your brain is just trying to figure out how you will get it all done. Often just thinking about all you have to do creates a huge amount of stress. You feel that sensation start to build in your body. It doesn't feel good but it's so familiar that it's oddly comfortable.

You want to alleviate some of it but instead of taking a good look at your to-do list, you eliminate the things that prioritize you and fill your cup. You need to make sure everyone else is taken care of, even if it's at your own expense. While that may not be the exact thought going through your head, it's the reality of what happens.

We let go of the things that help us manage our stress and overwhelm, and so the stress cycle gets even deeper. We get through the holiday season but aren't present for any of it. We are just checking off the boxes, showing up when we are supposed to with a smile on our faces, even though all we want to do is sit in our warm cozy bed with a good book, or spend time at home with our people. But instead, we eat too much comfort food and sweets, drink too much alcohol, stay up too late, and let go of the routines that nourish and sustain us.

Maybe this sounds familiar and maybe you stay the course with your routine but instead of allowing yourself to pivot with the growing list of responsibilities you use it to push yourself to get it all done. This cycle also leaves you exhausted and overwhelmed, creating more rigidity and less flexibility. It’s not nourishing or sustainable.

The question then becomes, does everything on our to-do list really need to get done?

This is a question that I ask my clients all the time and it usually stops them in their tracks. When was the last time you took a good look at our to-do list? What doesn't need to be on there that is creating stress? Not all of it needs to get done, or at least not as immediately as we think it does. It can help to ask yourself the following questions.

1. Does this need to get done right now?

I know firsthand that I have things on my to-do list that aren't going to get done anytime soon, nor do they need to. But the fact that they are on my list means they are taking mental energy from me. They are running around my brain reminding me that they need some attention. It creates a small amount of stress that I may not notice until I keep adding things to my plate. Then the cycle of stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm become more apparent and I find myself rushing around, telling everyone to hurry, feeling like I don't have enough time in the day, which only leads to irritation and frustration.

2. What needs to be on the list and what doesn't?

Oftentimes, I will have a bunch of silly tasks that are not urgent or important on the list. As I said earlier, these use up precious mental energy that could be spent on more important things. Energy is finite, so we want to make sure we aren't wasting it. These energy-sucking but unimportant tasks are the first things to go when life starts to get busy. If they don't, I don't prioritize myself. That is a no-win situation. If I am not taking care of myself then life, in general, gets harder, not just for me but for everyone around me.

3. What things do I need to continue to do to prioritize myself?

It's not selfish to make time for yourself. It's essential! When we don't prioritize ourselves we give up all our time and energy to others. This just leaves us feeling irritated, exhausted, and often with a short fuse which benefits no one. You can't pour from an empty cup. And while we all know this we have a hard time implementing the concept.

4. Where can I schedule a time to pause and rest?

This may sound silly, but we need to schedule downtime. We find ourselves in these vicious cycles of exhaustion, stress, and overwhelm because we don't make time for rest. Finding time daily for rest or a pause is great but even if you can do it every week you are heading in the right direction. In the evening, see where you can find space for a pause or rest the next day. Take a moment to do nothing. You don't need to take a 2-hour pause, that's often not realistic, but you could find a few moments in your day to pause for 5 minutes. If you think you don't have the time, maybe look at how much time you are scrolling on social media or doing other mindless activities. It's pretty surprising when you take inventory of how you spend your time. The other thing to consider if you find this impossible is why are everyone and everything else more important than you. These small pauses can have a powerful effect. Taking short breaks can help you feel rejuvenated, more positive, and more focused so you can tackle what's on your plate.

5. Does everything on the list need to be done by you?

This often falls in line with #1 on the list but needs to be discussed individually. Most of us take care of those around us, it's just this innate quality that we have. It's not a bad quality until it is. Sometimes it means we take on things we don't need to because we are so used to taking care of everything all the time. These items need to be taken off your list completely. An example from my own life is cleaning up after dinner. I used to cook dinner and do the cleanup after. While I love cooking, it's one of my love languages, I was getting burned out. I needed some help. Now, Parker is in charge of cleaning up after dinner and Dave will help with prep work and clean up as well. It keeps me from spending too much time in the kitchen so I have energy for other things I need to do. You may not have kids who are old enough to help, but often, we simply aren't expressing our needs to those around us. We have to be clear about our needs so those around us understand how they can help us.

Keep in mind, what we do daily creates a habit, whether it's something we want in our lives or not. We don't have to fall into the cycle of stress and overwhelm that comes with the holiday season, we can choose to do things differently and create new habits. There is absolutely no reason that our holiday season can't be peaceful, calm, relaxing, and joyful. It all starts by taking one small step in the direction you want your life to go.

I am reminding you about this again, because as my mentor always says, once is never, we all need to hear things over and over again until they finally stick. Your habits can make your life easier, or they can make it more challenging. YOU GET TO CHOOSE! Autonomy is pretty darn sexy!

These are 5 ways that I have learned to create habits and routines that help me keep my sanity even when life gets crazy. They work for me and my life and while they weren't easy to implement, they felt doable. You have to figure out what works best for you and then take that first step forward.