Breaking through self-doubt

In addition to being a health and wellness coach, I am also an Ashtanga yoga teacher. In my yoga classes, I teach people to memorize a set sequence of postures. I love teaching this style because I can tailor the practice and the postures to each person's needs. I get to work with each student individually to guide them through the movements and make sure they are breathing properly.

I have a very enthusiastic group of students who love the challenge of the practice and get excited to memorize and learn new postures. That is until I walk away and let them try it on their own. Their excitement fades when they realize they have to rely on themselves. Suddenly the confidence they had disappears and self-doubt creeps in. They start second-guessing everything that they were just flowing through.

When I notice that happening, I tell my students to show me what they think comes next, to stop listening to that voice in their head, and just trust themselves. 9 times out of 10 they know exactly what to do and those few words of encouragement and support help get them unstuck.

I always tell people that the hardest part of the practice is dealing with self-doubt. Things that we struggle with in the "real" world appear when we roll out our mat. We all handle life's challenges differently. Some of us laugh at ourselves and move on, some people start shit-talking themselves and berating themselves, and some of us overanalyze and end up stuck in place.

There are so many similarities between what I see in the yoga room and what happens with coaching. When I am in a session with my clients they are excited and ready to tackle their new habits only to get off our call and allow past experiences or self-doubt to get in their way. One of the great parts of coaching is accountability. I check in with my people regularly so if they are feeling stuck we can discuss ways to move forward. Often they just need a reminder that their past does not dictate their future and that they are capable of moving forward. A few words of support, encouragement, and kindness, along with some accountability go a long way.

We are rarely good at something when we first start. It takes time and practice to become proficient but also to see what is working and what is not.

It reminds me of when I was teaching my daughter, Parker, how to ride a bike. She wanted to know how to do it before she ever tried. She was stuck in fear because she didn't want to fall and get hurt. But ultimately, with lots of encouragement, kindness, and support she was riding on her own. I will never forget the words she said as she rode away from me on her own. She said, "I have never felt this free before."

I think that is true when we tackle the habits and routines we want to have in life. We feel a sense of freedom that we didn't have before. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience to undo habits we may have had for years so we can create new habits that support the life we want to have. It's no small feat and brings up the old stories that run through our minds; things like, I'm not good at this so I should just give up.

Habits are meant to be worked on for a lifetime. If we stop working on them then they are no longer a habit. We lay a foundation and then continue to adapt and grow. We slowly build confidence until we start to see and believe we are someone who engages in the habits we want to have. And then we keep going, slowly adding in the next habit and the next one. Before you know it you are living the life you've always dreamed of. (I did a post about habits that you can check out here.)

How are your habits going these days? Need a word of encouragement or some support? Just comment below and let me know what's going on and I'll send you back a few suggestions. Just know I'm always rooting you on.