We have 23 days left in 2022! Can you believe it? This time of year can get really crazy for a lot of us. We already have packed schedules and then we add on family gatherings, work parties, school commitments, no school, shopping, increased traffic, and so much more, all while being merry and bright. 😳😂

We let go of the things that help us manage our stress and overwhelm, and so the stress cycle gets even deeper. We get through the holiday season but aren't present for any of it. We are just checking off the boxes, showing up when we are supposed to with a smile on our faces.

here is absolutely no reason that our holiday season can't be peaceful, calm, relaxing, and joyful. It all starts by taking one small step in the direction you want your life to go.

The holiday season can be a wrecker of habits. We see evidence of this every January as people talk about wanting to get back on track after the craziness of the holiday season. You know all the slogans, "new year, new you", and all the things that go along with that from the gym memberships, to the diet plans. It's big business.

What we repeat becomes a habit, whether it serves us or not. Over-indulging during the holidays has become a habit for us. We have programmed ourselves to let it all go at this time of year. But here's the thing, we don't have to choose between having fun and staying steady with our habits and routines. We can do both!

The habits that you will keep for a lifetime are meant to work with your life, not make it more challenging. So what if instead of throwing it all out the window during the holiday season, we kept doing some of what helps us feel good?

One of the greatest challenges of creating healthy boundaries, besides the act itself, is not feeling guilty or selfish once you do. People pleasers, like myself, strive to make sure everyone around them is happy, often at their own expense.

When you attempt to create a boundary around something that you feels defines who you are as a person, well, that can bring up a lot of resistance.

It's not your job to make everyone else happy. But it is your job to make yourself happy.

Most people recoil when they hear the words discipline and routine. It makes them think of things that require us to be strict, monotonous, and devoid of fun. And even though these are the words and feelings that are elicited, we crave routine and discipline in our lives because they make us feel happy and grounded.

Part of the reason for the intense reaction is that people use the idea of discipline and routine as a tool to make themselves feel bad. They talk about feeling guilty, or unworthy and what they "should" be doing but aren't.

But what if we could stop should-ing all over ourselves and learn how to see discipline and routine as tools to help us have the life we want?

We often get excited about starting something new. We have something to focus our attention on, a method to try, and a way to move toward the life we want to live. But when it comes time to do it, enthusiasm wanes, life continues to happen, and we don't prioritize ourselves.

You can only get the life you want when you create time and space for yourself in it.

Getting what you want out of life takes work. Decide what you want, get into action, and then keep going. Be consistent and be unrelentless about your priorities.

Lately, I’ve been having a lot of conversations that have centered around the idea of self-worth. So often we think our accomplishments determine our worth. Who are we when we no longer accomplish the same things? Are we still good enough? Or do the things we do determine our value?

Our logical mind knows the answers to these questions. We are more than our accomplishments. But when it comes to the emotional side of this issue, things don’t feel so clear.

There will always be a million and one things on our to-do list. That will never change. But the urgency we place on what we have to do and whether that affects how we take care of ourselves is our choice.

We create habits and patterns so we can fall back on them even in the worst of times.

What we do and how we take care of ourselves matters. It's all about choice. We get to choose what takes priority in our lives. Slowing down and listening to signs from our body and mind ARE important.

Paulo Coelho says, “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

Every single person you encounter can teach you something about yourself and the way you relate to others and the world. We are lucky to have all the encounters we do, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

We go from one season to the next adapting and changing our habits trying to be this perfect person with perfect habits. We run ourselves ragged doing things we don't enjoy because we think that will get us where we want to go and we are just desperate to see results. We neglect to look at some of the most basic things in our lives like how much sleep we are getting, what we are putting in our bodies, how overscheduled, overwhelmed, and stressed we are, and how we have few, if any, boundaries around us and our time.

While parts of my life have not been easy, the one thing that has remained a constant in my life is gratitude. As a kid, my dad talked to me about how I could choose to look at the glass as half full or half empty. While I may not have fully understood the lesson he was teaching me at the time, I realized later that what he was saying is I always have a choice about how I look at my life. I can focus on the good things surrounding me or choose to spend my time ruminating on the negative.

​Gratitude is not something we are necessarily born with, although some people may be more prone to it than others. It's a practice. And like any practice, the more you do it the more proficient you become.

If you have ever tried to hold your breath for any length of time you may remember how quickly your mind starts telling you that you need to breathe. Your mind creates fear and anxiety around breathing because it is trying to protect you and keep you alive. But the reality of the situation is, most likely, you actually don't need to breathe.

For many of us, rest has become a 4 letter word. The idea of slowing down, taking a nap, or not being productive or busy, has negative connotations. We think we are being lazy if we are not constantly in motion or accomplishing things.

There is a quote that says, "We are all human but in no way are we the same. We all have things that make us individual and unique. There is a story behind each and every one of us. A reason why we are the way we are."

When we start to create new habits, we often get drawn in by a one size fits all approach.

But if we are all individual and unique then wouldn’t a one size fits all approach be counterproductive?

There is a quote from Rumi that says, "There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen."

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Most of us were taught from a young age not to listen to our intuition. We were instructed to detach from our bodies to accomplish goals, fit in, or any other number of reasons. We pushed that voice way down until we forgot it existed and were not sure if it was truthful when we did hear it.

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But that gut "knowing", or intuition is how many of us make decisions without even realizing where it is coming from. We often know the answer to our problems. It happens before you even have time to think about the situation. Because once we start thinking, well, we all know what happens then. 😂 Doubt creeps in and we begin to question ourselves. We question if that voice knows what it’s talking about and we doubt if we can trust it.

What happens when what is routine is not actually serving us? Do we continue to do what feels comfortable even when it is no longer in our best interest or do we start to lean into what makes us feel uncomfortable?

While some would say the status quo is not a bad thing, the status quo won’t take you where you want to go. And often, the people who discourage you from going for that change are the ones who are afraid to do it themselves.

On the other side of change and discomfort are growth and possibility. That is exactly what change does, it encourages you to grow into your potential.

When you are starting on your journey towards changing anything, you often get caught up looking at those who are ahead of you and wishing you were like them.

Sometimes this can be beneficial. It can help inspire you to reach whatever goal you have set for yourself. Seeing that someone else has done what you want to do can be motivational. But sometimes it can do the exact opposite.

we all like to have accountability and support, no matter what we are working on. We, as human beings, tend to focus on what we do wrong or where we fall short. So, having someone, or something, that reminds us where we’ve been successful and helps us celebrate our wins is a gift.

I think that’s one of the reasons coaching is so effective. It’s partially because people have autonomy over their life and decide what’s best for them. The other part is accountability, knowing someone is cheering you on and there to help support you is invaluable when you are trying to change things in your life.

Change is hard, so knowing you have someone on your side, no matter what, who will celebrate your success and help you learn from the moments when things didn’t work out, well, there’s nothing better.

Do you prioritize yourself? What do you think when you hear someone say that?

I can remember the first time I heard it. Parker was probably 2 years old, I was working 3 jobs, feeling like I was being pulled in a million directions. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and totally stressed out. The funny thing is if you had asked me if I was stressed I don’t know if I would have said yes. Stress had become so commonplace for me that I didn’t notice it.

My body couldn’t keep up with the chronic stress that it was under. It gave me plenty of signs, which I chose to ignore before I got sick. When I finally went to the doctor, she told me that I had to prioritize myself if I wanted to get better.

She asked me to devote 30 minutes a day to things that brought me joy. I thought she was crazy. My days were packed full, there wasn’t room for anything else, especially if it was for me.

That thinking was exactly what was exacerbating my situation. I was constantly giving to everyone else, except me.

Sustainability is built on the success we create daily. We have to learn to set goals that are achievable every day and not only on our best days.

Gratitude is a pretty amazing thing. It helps you reframe things in a way that actually serves you. It can help you see possibilities that you didn't see before. Gratitude is something that comes naturally for some but for those who it doesn't, it's a practice that can be cultivated over time. If you don't know how to do it, you can learn.