A new year helps me to get a fresh perspective on life. The break in my normal routine during the holidays helps me to see things with a little more clarity.

I have been trying to change my thought process around work over the last few years. I always thought that in order to be successful I had to really put my nose to the grindstone. Success was measured by how many things I did, how often I did it, and how many things/people that I said yes to.

But the reality is this is the recipe for burnout. I learned this because I experienced repeated bouts of burnout.

It is often easier to remember all the bad things that happened to us. Our brains can get stuck in a negative feedback loop, or a negativity bias. Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more than positive ones. This is a result of our evolution; we needed to pay more attention to the bad or negative threats because it was a matter of life or death. Even though we no longer live in a world where we have to be on guard constantly we still carry this trait in our genes. But if we want to cultivate a life that we really love it’s important to take the time to notice all the good things that happened as well.

We only have a few weeks left in 2021.

How does that make you feel; like this 😳 or like this 🤩?

I don't know about you but lately life has been feeling a bit busy. It finally hit me how few days I have left to shop and send presents to family and friends. And that Holiday card we were going to send out? Maybe we’ll make it a New Years card. 😂 The holiday crazies are creeping in. 🤪

The idea of being or feeling busy means I am already headed back into the old habit of putting more on my plate than I can handle. I start to pack as much into my day as I possibly can. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Kate Northrup says, “Body first, business second.” The idea is that if you take care of yourself and your body then you will have more focused energy to put into the other areas of your life.

When we aren’t well, physically, mentally, or spiritually, we don’t have anything to give; to ourselves, those we love and care about, and our work. The energy we do have isn’t the kind that is as effective as we would like it to be.

Can you believe we only have 5 more weeks left in this year?!? Crazy, right?!

As you look back over the last 11 months, how much time have you dedicated to other people and projects and how much time have you devoted to yourself?

I find that so many people enter the new year with the best intention of making themselves a priority only to find the year ending without much changing.

You can’t pick up a magazine or turn on the tv without seeing something about self care. In our culture of going and doing, self care is this thing we all want; but no matter how much we want it we all continually struggle with it.

Why is it so hard for us to devote time to take care of ourselves?

I don’t know what it is about a bath that gives me all the self care feels. And yet, for most of my adult life, I made little to no time for taking a bath. It was simply this idea of how I wanted life to be.

When I went to health coaching school we had the amazing opportunity to be coached by our fellow classmates every week. It gave me the chance to really dive into some habits that I wanted to change and/or create.

No matter what subject matter I started off talking about in my coaching session, it somehow evolved into me needing to take some time for myself, which always led to taking a bath.

It became a running joke amongst my classmates. Every time I showed up for class people were asking me if I had taken my bath.

My favorite (and only) kid turned 13 on Saturday.

If feels like just yesterday I had to hold her while she climbed on the jungle gym, or ride down the slide with her, or that I was teaching her how to swim, or ride a bike.

Now, she's a confident, compassionate, strong, and sassy 13 year old.

Time is a funny thing. Sometimes it feels like it's moving so slow you can barely stand it, but then you blink and realize that 5, 10, or even 15 years have passed.

There is no time to waste in life.

We spend so much of our time worrying about what other people will think, or how our actions will affect them. It holds us back from doing what we really want to do in life.

Whether we are ready or not the holiday season is upon us! Thanksgiving is literally 22 days away!

This can be a joyous time AND it can also be a totally stressful time of year. The number of items on our plate seems to grow exponentially as we add work and school parties, family gatherings, travel, shopping, etc to our already hectic lives and to do lists.

The daily practices that we use to help keep us grounded and sane seem like one more thing to do instead of THE thing we need to do.

Slowly, bit by bit, we don’t carve out time in our day to focus on our health and well being. Our stress levels begin to increase slowly until eventually life feels out of control and we are exhausted and totally stressed out.

I was having a conversation with a good friend the other day about gratitude. She was dealing with some major medical issues that just kept coming, one after the other. Eventually, it got to her. She was having a moment and was lost in the emotion of it all.

This particular person always finds the good in every situation. She would have gotten there on her own eventually.

She ran into a friend of hers who reminded her that she was fortunate to have the means and live in a country where she could get her medical issues taken care of.

The intention was to remind her of all the good things she had in her life.

And it did just that. It helped my friend snap out of her funk.

But does that really serve her?

Most of us have been taught to push ourselves since we were very young. It was the way to become a successful adult. If we just work harder and push through our fatigue, pain, (fill in the blank), then we can have what we want. Our effort is seen as equal to our success.

So often, we make even the best habits harder than they need to be. We put so many expectations on ourselves of what we think we need to do and who we need to be. Sometimes we need to take a step back so we can see if it is time to change our habits up a little.

For many of my adult years I focused more on what other people thought I should do with my life and what would make me look successful to them.

As Kate Northrup says, “Cultural brainwashing raised us to believe that our worth is equal to our achievements, and that if we’re not doing anything, we’re essentially worthless. This is a lie.”

It is so much easier to be kind and compassionate towards others. However, showing that same kindness and compassion towards yourself is so much more difficult.

We often assume the people closest to us should know what we need. But no one can know what we need in that moment unless we tell them.

As I read those words I could picture myself, even a few years ago, working so hard to please everybody so that I could feel good about myself. When I think about that person my heart breaks a little.

Having mono had me constantly thinking about my energy and how I could preserve what little energy I did have. I still needed to get things done everyday so I had to really step back and answer a few question for myself. When was I the most energetic? Which tasks required more energy than others? What did I really need to get done each day?

When Parker was approved to test for her black belt a few months ago, her teachers gave her a question to ponder. They asked her what she had learned from karate over the last seven years.

When I picked her up that day, she told me what her oral question was going to be and then immediately said she already knew her answer. She said what she had learned was how to celebrate other people’s successes.

I started my journey as a swimmer at 6 years old. My dream was to make it to the Olympics. From a young age, I trained hard. I started swimming twice a day by the time I was 10 years old. I swam between 2 and 4 hours a day, did dryland exercises, lifted weights, and ran every day but Sunday. Sometimes I would lift weights or run on Sundays just to get me closer to my goal.

My coaches would always say, “no pain, no gain.” I heard that phrase so often that I began to believe it. If I wasn’t pushing myself to my max constantly, and ignoring pain, then I wasn’t working hard enough.